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[blabbering]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
pbnparker

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Comments

text — un: guccibug (misfire)

[highlyemotional]

Do you think a blowjob would make me feel less hungry? I'm starving.

[blabbering]

[guy who has no idea what's happening and is totally just trying to play it cool:]

uh
i mean
actually i think that would probably make you feel more hungry??
you know you're burning calories and stuff which would tend to make you feel more hungry
if you're trying to feel less hungry maybe

drink coffee
a lot of coffee
that'd probably work better

[highlyemotional]

If I drink anymore coffee I am going to be more coffee than girl!

[blabbering]

and you're still hungry??
oh man
that's honestly pretty impressive

[that's, like, a superhuman appetite, but peter can't let on to a stranger that he, in fact, knows what superhuman appetites are like.]

[highlyemotional]

[ peter parker is so teenage girl that caroline thinks she is still texting one of her girlies, congrats dude! ]

Thank you

That's why I was thinking a blowjob would help! Sate one hunger with another, you know?

[blabbering]

yeah
i get it
that's a theory
you know, as much as the coffee is a theory

[all things considered, peter thinks he's handling this conversation with a stranger pretty well. at least until:]

the next stage is probably testing the theory, i guess

[well, that's sent, and out there. it doesn't mean what it looks like it means, but boy, it sure does look like it. yikes.]

[highlyemotional]

[ now that she's cottoned on to the accidental texts, she opens and closes the text chain until the actual name pops up at the top. pbnparker. peanut butter 'n' parker? that's cute.

a stranger! but cute.

hm. gender non-specific name. ]

I guess. Do you know of any volunteers?